RETHINKING BAD MEMORIES 

The Right Perspective Series l Story 8

We all have bad memories.

Bad memories that cause us hurt and pain.

Bad memories that engender regret and remorse.

Bad memories that conjure up anger and hate.

The more we try to forget, the more we remember

While we often try our best to forget these bad memories, we often find that the more we try to forget, the more we relive the pain, hurt, and regret.

We then fall into a vicious cycle of frustration, hopelessness, and despair.

Embrace, not forget

So instead of trying to forget, perhaps we should embrace and accept these bad memories instead. This concept was beautifully expressed in this fairy tale from the hit Korean drama, “It’s Okay to Not Be Okay”.

The boy woke up from another awful nightmare.

 Bad memories from that past that he wanted to forget were replayed on his dreams every night and haunted him nonstop.

He was terrified of falling asleep, so one day, he went to the witch and begged:

 “Please get rid of all my bad memories, so that I won’t ever have a nightmare again.

Then, I will do everything you ask.”

Years went by, and the boy became an adult.

 He no longer had nightmares but for some strange reasons, he wasn’t happy at all.

One night, a blood moon filled the sky and the witch finally showed up again to take what he had promised in return for granting his wish.

 And he shouted at her with so much resentment: 

“All my bad memories are gone but why can’t I become happy?”

Then the witch took his soul as they had promised and told him this:

 “Hurtful, painful memories.

 Memories of deep regrets.

 Memories of hurting others and being hurt.

 Memories of being abandoned.

 Only those with such memories buried in their hearts can become

stronger, more passionate, and emotionally flexible.

 And only those can attain happiness.”

 Remember and Overcome

 The story concludes with an important lesson that all of us should learn:

 “So don’t forget any of it.

Remember it all and overcome it.

 If you don’t overcome it, you will always be a kid whose soul never grows.”

So, instead of trying to forget bad memories and experiences, let us embrace them so that our our souls will grow and be refined.

Perspective #8

Instead of trying to forget bad memories and experiences, embrace them. 

Bad memories can lead us to happiness if we respond in a positive way such that these bad memories help us become stronger, more passionate, and emotionally flexible.

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Written By:  Joanne H Lim

(Co-Author of “Winning with Honour” and “The Leader, The Teacher & You“, and Author of “Meme the Monkey Wins in Life”)

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Video Link: www.youtube.com/watch?v=rpwd8R8-G-Y

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To read the other stories in “The Right Perspective Series”, please visit: www.TheRightPerspective.com.sg/blog/

For more information, please visit: www.TheRightPerspective.com.sg