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Today, we celebrate 51 years of Singapore’s independence and 51 years of calling Singapore HOME…a place where we have HOpe and MEmory. This is no mean feat for a small nation where survival and success are two sides of the same coin.

In our Op-Ed (Straits Times, 2 June 2016) “Getting to the future with honour”, we said Singapore has the opportunity to set the benchmark for a “First World Society”. To do so, we start by establishing a culture of honouring, moving deliberately from me-centredness to other-centredness for the collective long-term well-being of both current and future generations of Singaporeans.

A First World Society is one that is not only economically successful, but is also socially successful, where the elderly and the disabled, the invisible people and the forgotten people, can each have their place in society. It is a society where people honour each other with due consideration, not for the praise of others but because it the right and good thing to do.  If those who reach the top do not look out for those lower down, society will disintegrate.

Many might say: It is already difficult enough for me to take care of myself and my family, why should I even bother to honour others?

Well, the following two studies show that being other-centred is actually “enlightened self-interest” as love and concern for others reap satisfied lives for ourselves.

HARVARD STUDY ON HAPPINESS

As mentioned on page 11 of our book, “Winning with Honour“, Harvard University conducted an epic study over 75 years to determine what human beings need to live a happy life.

The Harvard Grant Study began in 1938 and followed 268 Harvard undergraduate men who came from all walks of life. Over 75 years, researchers followed developments in the men’s lives and tracked a wide range of psychological, anthropological, and physical traits, including intelligence levels, alcohol intake, relationships, and income.

Dr George Vaillant led the study from 1972 to 2004 and published the fascinating findings in a book entitled: “Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study” (Belknap Press 2012).

The study revealed six secrets to living a happy life:

• Secret #1: Value Love Above Everything Else. The most important finding is: “Happiness is love. Full stop.” There are two cornerstones of happiness: “One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.”
• Secret #2: Relationships Matter a Lot. Relationships with other people matter more than anything else in the world. This applies to overall life satisfaction, as well as career satisfaction. Early relationships are significant – those who had warm childhood relationships with their mothers were more effective at work, and earned about USD 87,000 more per year compared to men who had uncaring mothers; they were also less likely to develop dementia later in life. Men who had warm childhood relations with their fathers were less anxious as adults, enjoyed vacations more, and had increased “life satisfaction” at age 75. While we cannot do anything about our past, we can take steps to help the children in our spheres of influence today.
• Secret #3: Beware Alcohol and Cigarettes. There is a strong correlation between alcohol abuse and neurosis, mental illness, and depression. Alcohol, coupled with cigarette smoking, significantly contributed to morbidity and early death. Also, alcoholism was found to be the leading cause of divorce.
• Secret #4: Be Content. When it comes to work, one should aim for contentment, not cash. This finding is aligned with a 2010 study by Angus Deaton, an economist who was awarded the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences in 2015. According to Deaton, increases in annual income beyond USD 75,000 do not increase emotional well-being. Hence, money matters…but only up to a point.
• Secret #5: It is Never Too Late to Change. The study found that it is possible for those experiencing hard situations to find happiness and, with the appropriate coping mechanisms, to turn suffering into lessons. Men who did well in old age did not necessarily do well in mid-life, and those who did well in mid-life did not necessarily do well in old age. The background that one was born into also had no correlation to one’s happiness.
• Secret #6: It is Mostly Up to Us. The study found that physical health after age 80 is less determined by our genes and more by our habits prior to age 50. According to Vaillant: “The credit for growing old with grace and vitality, it seems, goes more to ourselves than to our stellar genetic makeup.”

TRANSCENDENCE, OUR HIGHEST NEED

We also mentioned on page 15 of “Winning with Honour” a study conducted by Abraham Harold Maslow (1908–1970), an American psychologist who hypothesized that the needs of human beings lay in a hierarchy where once one level of needs is met, the next higher level of needs gains prominence.

Maslow identified five levels of needs:

• Biological and Physiological Needs (e.g. food, air, water, shelter)
• Safety Needs (e.g. security, stability, law)
• Love Needs (e.g. family, friends, sense of belonging)
• Esteem Needs (e.g. status, reputation, achievement)
• Self-Actualization Needs (e.g. the realization of one’s potential)

Further research has concluded that the list is incomplete: human beings have three more needs:

• Cognitive Needs (e.g. understanding a situation or knowing the reason for having to do something)
• Aesthetic Needs (e.g. beauty, balance, form)
• Transcendence Needs (e.g. thinking of others, helping others realize their potential)

The research finds that the highest need is not Self-actualisation (“me-centredness”) but Transcendence (“other-centredness”).  The final hierarchy of eight needs is shown in the diagram “Maslow’s “Extended” Hierarchy of Needs”.  

The highest need we all have is to move beyond just thinking of ourselves to contributing to the lives of others by doing good for their lives. To put it simply, if we want to live a happy life, we have to remember that it is not about ourselves, but about others.

HONOUR & HAPPINESS

Relationships are what define life.  Unfulfilling, dysfunctional, and abusive relationships impact our lives negatively, while honourable, meaningful, and positive relationships empower us to fulfil our potential.

What we learn from the Harvard Grant Study and Maslow’s “Extended” Hierarchy of Needs is that

• Relationships and love matter more than any other thing
• Material things matter only up to a point
• Our habits and mind-sets determine our lives
• It is never too late to change
• We must take self-responsibility for our own satisfaction and happiness
• Transcendence is our highest need as human beings

A FIRST WORLD SOCIETY WE CAN CALL HOME 

We live satisfied lives when we have long-term loving relationships, and trust is the most important currency for any long-term relationship to thrive, be it in the

• Personal space (i.e. families, friends, relatives, etc.)
• Professional space (i.e. customers, business partners, bosses, and colleagues, etc.)
• Public space (i.e. government, communities, etc.)

And Honour is the foundation of trust – for a system of Honour to work and for trusting relationships to be established, honour must first be offered by one party and reciprocated by the other party on an on-going basis.

We build trust most fundamentally by Honouring our Word and Honouring Each Other.

A first world society is one that is not only economically successful and viable, but is one where its members looks out for each other’s well-being.  The secret to life satisfaction is to remember that at the end of the day, it is not about ourselves, but about others.

For Singapore to be HOME, offering HOpe and MEmory to Singaporeans today and the generations to come, we need to be a people who honour our word and honour each other.

Will you honour our HOME, Singapore?

Today, we celebrate 51 years of Singapore’s independence and 51 years of calling Singapore HOME…a place where we have HOpe and MEmory. This is no mean feat for a small nation where survival and success are two sides of the same coin.

In our Op-Ed (Straits Times, 2 June 2016) “Getting to the future with honour”, we said Singapore has the opportunity to set the benchmark for a “First World Society”. To do so, we start by establishing a culture of honouring, moving deliberately from me-centredness to other-centredness for the collective long-term well-being of both current and future generations of Singaporeans.

A First World Society is one that is not only economically successful, but is also socially successful, where the elderly and the disabled, the invisible people and the forgotten people, can each have their place in society. It is a society where people honour each other with due consideration, not for the praise of others but because it the right and good thing to do.  If those who reach the top do not look out for those lower down, society will disintegrate.

Many might say: It is already difficult enough for me to take care of myself and my family, why should I even bother to honour others?

Well, the following two studies show that being other-centred is actually “enlightened self-interest” as love and concern for others reap satisfied lives for ourselves.

HARVARD STUDY ON HAPPINESS

As mentioned on page 11 of our book, “Winning with Honour“, Harvard University conducted an epic study over 75 years to determine what human beings need to live a happy life.

The Harvard Grant Study began in 1938 and followed 268 Harvard undergraduate men who came from all walks of life. Over 75 years, researchers followed developments in the men’s lives and tracked a wide range of psychological, anthropological, and physical traits, including intelligence levels, alcohol intake, relationships, and income.

Dr George Vaillant led the study from 1972 to 2004 and published the fascinating findings in a book entitled: “Triumphs of Experience: The Men of the Harvard Grant Study” (Belknap Press 2012).

The study revealed six secrets to living a happy life:

• Secret #1: Value Love Above Everything Else. The most important finding is: “Happiness is love. Full stop.” There are two cornerstones of happiness: “One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.”
• Secret #2: Relationships Matter a Lot. Relationships with other people matter more than anything else in the world. This applies to overall life satisfaction, as well as career satisfaction. Early relationships are significant – those who had warm childhood relationships with their mothers were more effective at work, and earned about USD 87,000 more per year compared to men who had uncaring mothers; they were also less likely to develop dementia later in life. Men who had warm childhood relations with their fathers were less anxious as adults, enjoyed vacations more, and had increased “life satisfaction” at age 75. While we cannot do anything about our past, we can take steps to help the children in our spheres of influence today.
• Secret #3: Beware Alcohol and Cigarettes. There is a strong correlation between alcohol abuse and neurosis, mental illness, and depression. Alcohol, coupled with cigarette smoking, significantly contributed to morbidity and early death. Also, alcoholism was found to be the leading cause of divorce.
• Secret #4: Be Content. When it comes to work, one should aim for contentment, not cash. This finding is aligned with a 2010 study by Angus Deaton, an economist who was awarded the Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences in 2015. According to Deaton, increases in annual income beyond USD 75,000 do not increase emotional well-being. Hence, money matters…but only up to a point.
• Secret #5: It is Never Too Late to Change. The study found that it is possible for those experiencing hard situations to find happiness and, with the appropriate coping mechanisms, to turn suffering into lessons. Men who did well in old age did not necessarily do well in mid-life, and those who did well in mid-life did not necessarily do well in old age. The background that one was born into also had no correlation to one’s happiness.
• Secret #6: It is Mostly Up to Us. The study found that physical health after age 80 is less determined by our genes and more by our habits prior to age 50. According to Vaillant: “The credit for growing old with grace and vitality, it seems, goes more to ourselves than to our stellar genetic makeup.”

TRANSCENDENCE, OUR HIGHEST NEED

We also mentioned on page 15 of “Winning with Honour” a study conducted by Abraham Harold Maslow (1908–1970), an American psychologist who hypothesized that the needs of human beings lay in a hierarchy where once one level of needs is met, the next higher level of needs gains prominence.

Maslow identified five levels of needs:

• Biological and Physiological Needs (e.g. food, air, water, shelter)
• Safety Needs (e.g. security, stability, law)
• Love Needs (e.g. family, friends, sense of belonging)
• Esteem Needs (e.g. status, reputation, achievement)
• Self-Actualization Needs (e.g. the realization of one’s potential)

Further research has concluded that the list is incomplete: human beings have three more needs:

• Cognitive Needs (e.g. understanding a situation or knowing the reason for having to do something)
• Aesthetic Needs (e.g. beauty, balance, form)
• Transcendence Needs (e.g. thinking of others, helping others realize their potential)

The research finds that the highest need is not Self-actualisation (“me-centredness”) but Transcendence (“other-centredness”).  The final hierarchy of eight needs is shown in the diagram “Maslow’s “Extended” Hierarchy of Needs”.

The highest need we all have is to move beyond just thinking of ourselves to contributing to the lives of others by doing good for their lives. To put it simply, if we want to live a happy life, we have to remember that it is not about ourselves, but about others.

HONOUR & HAPPINESS

Relationships are what define life.  Unfulfilling, dysfunctional, and abusive relationships impact our lives negatively, while honourable, meaningful, and positive relationships empower us to fulfil our potential.

What we learn from the Harvard Grant Study and Maslow’s “Extended” Hierarchy of Needs is that

• Relationships and love matter more than any other thing
• Material things matter only up to a point
• Our habits and mind-sets determine our lives
• It is never too late to change
• We must take self-responsibility for our own satisfaction and happiness
• Transcendence is our highest need as human beings

A FIRST WORLD SOCIETY WE CAN CALL HOME 

We live satisfied lives when we have long-term loving relationships, and trust is the most important currency for any long-term relationship to thrive, be it in the

• Personal space (i.e. families, friends, relatives, etc.)
• Professional space (i.e. customers, business partners, bosses, and colleagues, etc.)
• Public space (i.e. government, communities, etc.)

And Honour is the foundation of trust – for a system of Honour to work and for trusting relationships to be established, honour must first be offered by one party and reciprocated by the other party on an on-going basis.

We build trust most fundamentally by Honouring our Word and Honouring Each Other.

A first world society is one that is not only economically successful and viable, but is one where its members looks out for each other’s well-being.  The secret to life satisfaction is to remember that at the end of the day, it is not about ourselves, but about others.

For Singapore to be HOME, offering HOpe and MEmory to Singaporeans today and the generations to come, we need to be a people who honour our word and honour each other.

Will you honour our HOME, Singapore?

The 20 July 2016 edition of Harvard Business School Working Knowledge had, as its lead article, “Airplane Design Brings Out the Class Warfare in Us All” by Dina Gerdeman.

It starts off with the assertion: “Air rage is often blamed on overcrowded flights and postage stamp-size seats, but researchers Michael Norton and Katherine A. DeCelles find another culprit: resentment toward passengers in first class.”

The new research shows that, besides the discomforts of flying economy class, what upsets people “is the demeaning march through the socioeconomic strata as we are herded through the pampered world of first and business class to our humble place in coach (i.e. economy class). It’s difficult to look past the wide and plush seats filled with passengers given privileged access to board early and sip complimentary champagne.”

One of the researchers, Professor Michael Norton of the Harvard Business School, states: “People are exquisitely sensitive to hierarchy, and research shows that feeling low status can make people feel stressed and angry.  The psychology is powerful. That feeling of being in first or last place affects our thoughts, emotions, and behavior.”

Norton and DeCelles conducted their research based on a private database of all air rage incidents from a large international airline collected over several years.  Air rage incidents refer to anger or misbehavior displayed by passengers on a flight, where cabin crew face passenger drunken outbursts, refusal to sit down and buckle up, smoking in the toilet, and abusive behaviour.

The research results were published in a paper “Physical and Situational Inequality on Airplanes Predicts Air Rage” in the 17 May 2016 issue of Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

Interesting findings were:

• Passengers are 3.84 times more likely to be unruly when there is a first-class cabin as compared with planes without first class.
• Outburst are 2.16 times more likely in economy class when passengers boarded from the front and had to walk through first class, as compared to when they board from the middle and thus avoid being confronted with their “relatively disadvantaged status”.

But bad behaviour was not only found in economy but also in first class.  “Front boarding of planes predicted 11.86 greater odds of an air rage incident in first class than boarding from the middle. The findings align with previous research showing that inequality affects the psyche of both haves and have-nots.”

“For those with lower status, perceptions of their socioeconomic standing can have a strong impact. If they can see what others have, it becomes obvious that they are missing out, and it can make them feel worse. In fact, previous research shows health outcomes are poorer in impoverished neighborhoods that border wealthier areas.”

As to why first class passengers also misbehave, it was found that these people tend to be more selfish, entitled and scornful, and such a frame of mind causes them to behave badly.  Higher status can induce “negative feelings of entitlement.”

 Some other interesting findings about misbehaving passengers were:

• The majority of them, 72.49 percent, were men.
• Most of the incidents, 83.98 percent, took place in economy class.
• Of unruly behaviours, drunkenness was most common at 31.75 percent, followed by belligerent behaviour at 29 percent, and ignoring crew instructions at 18.67 percent.
• First-class passengers were more likely to involve belligerent behavior, such as expressing strong anger (36.3 percent of incidents in first class versus 27.8 percent in economy).
• Economy incidents were more likely to involve emotional outbursts (6.2 percent of incidents in economy versus 2.2 percent in first class).

In a sense, the findings should not surprise us.  In-your-face class distinctions should be minimized, and those of higher status should think less of privileges, and more about how others feel and what they can do for others. 

“Honour each other” is a good maxim.

As mentioned on page 417 of “Winning with Honour”, Honour, like love, is what comes from deep within us.  We may be expressing courtesies and behaviours out of habit in observing the norms of society.

But what makes it all a matter of Honour is we are driven to do these things out of a concern and regard for those who are affected or uplifted by our behaviour.

Establishing a culture of Honour requires us to:

• Do unto others what we would have them do unto us
• Not do anything which would be repugnant to ourselves
• Continually ask of others the question: “How can I be of help to you?”
• Instinctively ask ourselves what impact our actions and decisions will have on others
• Habitually ask ourselves how we can contribute good to the lives of others beyond ourselves

Maya Angelou was an American author, poet, dancer, actress and singer.  Of life, she said:

“I’ve learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.

I’ve learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you’ll miss them when they’re gone from your life.

I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as making a ‘life.’

I’ve learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.

I’ve learned that you shouldn’t go through life with a catcher’s mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw something back.

I’ve learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

I’ve learned that even when I have pains, I don’t have to be one.

I’ve learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.

I’ve learned that I still have a lot to learn.

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

The last sentence bears particular significance: “I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

It is a commentary on honouring all who cross our path in life.

There is a story of a young warrior who rode his horse ready for battle.  Along the way, an old man stopped him and asked where he was going.

The young man said he was on the way to fight for his country, and he would win because he had a brave heart, a strong hand and a fast horse.

The old man quietly said he would not win even though he had the courage and will, the strength and skill, and the horse and sword, because the war was in the North while he was heading South.

We lose when we are not prepared properly for battle.

However, we also lose if we have worked hard to prepare ourselves, but miss the battle and lose the war because we are headed in the wrong direction and getting to the wrong place.

The key lies in a good process for anticipating the future.

One way to do it is by scenario-based planning. But this could be too complex and involved for many organisations.

A more straightforward approach is described by Jack Welch, who was Chairman and CEO of General Electric from 1981 to 2001, in the book WINNING which he co-wrote with Suzy Welch.  His approach was to seek answers to (just) five questions:

1. What does the playing field look like now?
2. What has the competition been up to?
3. What have you been up to?
4. What is around the corner?
5. What is your winning move?

These questions offer deep insight if answered thoughtfully with a view to conscientious action.

Try answering these five questions today to see if your organisation is headed in the right direction for tomorrow!

In the 2 July 2016 edition of the New York Times, Warren Berger, the author of “A More Beautiful Question” (Bloomsbury USA), wrote an article entitled “The Power of ‘Why?’ and ‘What If?’” You can read the full article here.

Berger opening line was that he recently had a conversation with a chief executive who expressed concern about several of her senior managers. “They were smart, experienced, competent. So what was the problem? ‘They’re not asking enough questions,’ she said.”

Berger continued: “This wouldn’t have been a bad thing in the business world of a few years ago, where the rules for success were: Know your job, do your work, and if a problem arises, solve it and don’t bother us with a lot of questions.

“But increasingly I’m finding that business leaders want the people working around them to be more curious, more cognizant of what they don’t know, and more inquisitive — about everything, including ‘Why am I doing my job the way I do it?’ and ‘How might our company find new opportunities?’

Berger comments that “there are real forces in business today that are causing people to value curiosity and inquiry more than in the past,” as “companies in many industries today must contend with rapid change and rising uncertainty. In such conditions, even a well-established company cannot rest on its expertise; there is pressure to keep learning what’s new and anticipating what’s next. It’s hard to do any of that without asking questions.

Berger shared that in his research for his book, he studied business breakthroughs and found that in each breakthrough, “some curious soul looked at a current problem and asked insightful questions about why that problem existed and how it might be tackled.”

Berger’s favorite story was “The Polaroid story”. The instant camera was inspired by a question by the three-year-old daughter of its inventor, Edwin H. Land – Land’s daughter was impatient to see a photo her father had just snapped, and when he tried to explain that the film had to be processed first, she wondered aloud: “Why do we have to wait for the picture?”

Berger states that “research shows that question-asking peaks at age 4 or 5 and then steadily drops off, as children pass through school (where answers are often more valued than questions) and mature into adults. By the time we’re in the workplace, many of us have gotten out of the habit of asking fundamental questions about what’s going on around us. And some people worry that asking questions at work reveals ignorance or may be seen as slowing things down.”

To encourage people to ask more questions, Berger shares that there are simple ways to train people to do so: “For example, question formulation exercises can be used as a substitute for conventional brainstorming sessions. The idea is to put a problem or challenge in front of a group of people and instead of asking for ideas, instruct participants to generate as many relevant questions as they can.”

Berger comments that “for questioning to thrive in a company, management must find ways to reward the behaviour — if only by acknowledging the good questions that have been asked.”

He further shares the importance for leaders to walk the talk, and “encourage companywide questioning by being more curious and inquisitive themselves.” Berger comments: “[Leaders] could set a better example by asking ‘why’ and ‘what if’ — while asking others to do likewise. And as the questions proliferate, some good answers are likely to follow.”

In the Toyota Production System, one of the principle for getting to the root of problems is to ask “Why?” five times.  If we do not get to the root of a problem, we cannot develop fundamentally sound improvements and innovations.  We should never be satisfied with superficial answers.

For example, if we were to see a man collapsing in a room, someone may tell us he has had a heart attack.  If we are satisfied with that answer, we will never discover what can be done to improve the situation in future.  If we keep asking “Why?”, we will get to points about cholesterol and diet and exercise and lifestyle, and at that point we would have learnt something which we can use to make our lives better, and the man’s heart attack would have yielded some useful benefits to those around.

As leaders, we need to create a good environment for getting ideas for improvement and innovation.  And we need ourselves to set a good example.

Learn the art of bringing out good questions!  Not asking questions may reduce the risk of looking stupid, but that itself is stupidity.

Photo credit: http://www.livingandloving.co.za/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/Common-questions-kids-ask-and-how-to-answer-them.jpg

Yo-Yo Ma, a very well-known American cellist, recently spoke to World Post on the need for empathy, the place for arts and literature, and the need for education to move from STEM to STEAM.  His article can be found at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/yoyo-ma/behind-the-cello_b_4603748.html.

Some of his critical remarks are reproduced here, the connection to Honour being that to honour each other, we need empathy.  A full sense of his thinking is best obtained by reading the full article.

“Advances in neurobiology now make it clear that we humans have dual neural pathways, one for critical thinking and one for empathetic thinking. Only one pathway can be activated at a time, so when one is on, the other is off. Yet we are also aware that wise and balanced judgment results from integrating the critical and empathetic, taking emotions as well as reason into account. While this can’t be done it tandem, it does occur, we now know, through a loop-back process of layers of feedback.”

“This integrative awareness is especially important today as our science-driven, technologically advanced world is breaking down into ever more compartments, specializations and disciplines — even as the interdependence of globalization is creating more links with other cultures through which empathetic understanding is vital.”

“To be able to put oneself in another’s shoes without prejudgment is an essential skill. Empathy comes when you understand something deeply through arts and literature and can thus make unexpected connections. These parallels bring you closer to things that would otherwise seem far away. Empathy is the ultimate quality that acknowledges our identity as members of one human family.”

FROM STEM TO STEAM

“Because the world economy is so hyper-competitive, much of the focus in education these days from Singapore to Shanghai to American schools is on STEM — science, technology, engineering and math. As important as that is, it is short-sighted. We need to add the empathetic reasoning of the arts to the mix – STEAM.

“The values behind arts integration — collaboration, flexible thinking and disciplined imagination — lead to the capacity to innovate. A pianist skilled to both read and improvise music is open to listening to what is around him but knows that, to reach excellence, he needs to filter the imagination through the discipline of knowledge. When he performs, you will know instantly if he has achieved that right balance and it works or not.

“For me the most proficient way to teach the values of collaboration, flexibility, imagination and innovation — all skill sets needed in today’s world — is through the performing arts. If you have these tools, you can do well in any field from software engineering to the biosciences.

“Empathy is the other key tool. Empathy and imagination, the artificial layering of different realities, are linked. Empathy is your capacity to imagine what someone else is going through; what they are thinking, feeling and perceiving. That will not only give you an outlook on who they are — continually corrected by evidence — but also what your alternative possibilities are.

“Empathetic thinking is something that is severely missing in education today that is only STEM oriented.”

IT’S ALL ABOUT EQUILIBRIUM

“Finding meaning and living — all of what we do as humans in society — occurs in that brain space between life and death. In our industrial societies there is a great deal of controversy these days over what life is and when it begins and how we approach the agony of death which, in industrial society, we try to avoid thinking about. Therefore we spend an unbelievable amount of money on medical care in those last few years before dying.

“The arts help us cope with these issues by engaging, not avoiding, the deep emotions of intimate loss involved and retelling over and over again the story of the human condition and its limits. Only then can we can regain our spiritual balance and find meaning in more than trying to technically manage every aspect of our being from womb to tomb.”

WE ARE MORE THAN WE CAN MEASURE

“We live in such a measuring society, people tend to put a person in a box they can put on their mental shelf. People think of me as a cellist because they can see my performances and take my measure as a musician. I think of my life as a musician as only the tip of an iceberg. That is only the audible part of my existence. Underneath the water is the life I’m leading, the thoughts I’m thinking and the emotions that well up in me.

“We all get into trouble if we think the universe only exists of the matter that we can see and measure, and not the anti-matter that is the counterpart that holds it all together.

“Michelangelo famously said, ‘I liberate the statue from the marble.’ Similarly, my music emerges from the life all around me and the world we all share together. One is the condition of the other.”

Win with “STEAM”. Win with Honour.

Photo credit: http://www.tbo.com/storyimage/TB/20140331/ARTICLE/140339886/AR/0/AR-140339886.jpg

The board game GO (known as weiqi in Chinese) is an abstract strategy board game requiring skills in strategy, tactics and observation.  The game was apparently invented by the Chinese more than 5,000 years ago.

GO is more challenging than chess, for example, because of the large variety of strategies and tactics that can be deployed.  It is even said that there are more possibilities than the number of atoms in the visible universe!

GO is a game for two persons, the goal of which is to surround more territory than the opponent.

Someone just shared with me this GO strategy list (supposedly from the 8th century), which would also be useful for success in life and business:

圍碁十訣 (“10 Rules in GO”)

• 不得貪勝 : If you are too focused on winning, you may mess up. Empty your mind and look for the best move.

• 入界宜緩 : If you are entering enemy territory, be careful and don’t go in too deep … there is timing in everything.

• 攻彼顧我 : Before attacking opponent, look inwardly and evaluate your own weaknesses.

• 棄子爭先 : Even if having to forgo a few stones, you must hold power over the entire game.

• 捨小取大 : Let go of the immediate small profit and think about the larger ones.

• 逢危須棄 : In danger, learn to let go and wait for better opportunity.

• 愼勿輕速 : Play with patience, one at a time, the more pressed, the more accurate diagnosis is needed.

• 動須相應 : Every stone is organic & connected to one another so knowing relationships is important.

• 彼强自保 : If your enemy is strong, first shore up yourself.

• 勢孤取和 : If you are surrounded in enemy territory, first seek path to survival.

 “GO” for success in leadership, business, and life!

Photo credit: https://gogameguru.com/i/2013/01/ear-reddening-move-shusaku-gennan-inseki.jpg

Practising honour in daily living – honouring our word, and honouring each other – can take many different forms in the daily ups and downs of life.  The challenge we all face is how to make honour both instinctive and habitual, a natural and authentic part of who we each are.

Our hearts were warmed when we read the story of a 12-year-old boy responding to a car accident.  The following report was carried in the Straits Times edition of 2 June 2016: http://www.straitstimes.com/singapore/12-year-old-boy-rushes-to-aid-of-car-accident-victims-in-yishun

“A 12-year-old boy, who rushed to the aid of the victims of a car accident in Yishun on Tuesday, said he did so as other passers-by were ‘too buy taking pictures with their phones instead of helping’.

Yishun Primary School pupil Ashvin Gunasegaran was walking home from school with several classmates when they heard a ‘loud boom’ behind them as they crossed the road.  Turning around, they saw two cars had collided just metres away at the junction of Yishun Ring Road and Yishun Avenue 2.  While his friends told him to stay away as it was ‘too dangerous’, Ashvin said he ran over to the drivers of each car after seeing that no adults were coming forward to offer assistance.

‘It was my first instinct – I felt I had to check if they were okay and if they needed an ambulance,’ he told The Straits Times yesterday.  ‘One of the drivers was pregnant, she said she was not injured but asked for my help in finding her glasses.  I tried to open her door but it was jammed.’

Ashvin said he also checked if the other driver was fine and waited for an ambulance – called by another member of the public – to arrive before leaving the scene.

The Singapore Civil Defence force (SCDF) said it was alerted to the accident at about 1.10 pm on Tuesday and dispatched one ambulance.  A pregnant woman was conveyed to KK Women’s and Children’s Hospital, an SCDF spokesman said.  Her condition is believed to be stable.

A Facebook post by Ashvin’s sister Laava, featuring a photo taken by Ashvin’s schoolmate as he spoke to one of the victims in the damaged car, has been shared more than 1,700 times since Tuesday evening.

Ashvin said his classmates were cheering his name at school yesterday as the picture was shared among his peers.

‘What I did wasn’t special – it was just the right thing to do.’ ”

“It was just the right thing to do.” Cheers to you Ashvin for reminding us all that as human beings, we have to look out for each other, and do the right thing regardless of the cost or inconvenience to ourselves.

 Picture: Screenshot of Straits Times 2 June 2016 Article