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What is the ultimate mistake in life?

stevenjobs_connecting-the-dots

I had the privilege to be the guest speaker at the SAF Leadership Dining-In last week, where the theme was “Our SAF – For Singapore, For Singaporeans”.

It was a generation of SAF leadership I had had no opportunity to work with during my 22 years in the Ministry of Defence, the last 13 of which was as its Permanent Secretary.  Preparing my speech for the evening was a time of pleasant reminiscence of the opportunities I had serving first under Dr Goh Keng Swee, who was Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Defence, and other Ministers for Defence thereafter.

In my speech I recalled Mindef as the place where I brought in various initiatives which later proved highly valuable for the larger public service.  These included introducing:

  • Total Defence, comprising Military Defence, Civil Defence, Economic Defence, Social Defence, and Psychological Defence, as the framework for defence and deterrence to maintain the security of Singapore;
  • Promotional advertising by government agencies, starting with Total Defence using the tagline “There’s a Part for Everyone” and moving on to promoting the SAF and the three services of the Army, the Navy and the Air Force;
  • The Currently Estimated Potential (CEP) system, learnt from Shell International, as an organised way to assess the career potential of everyone in the SAF
  • The MINDEF Productivity Movement to promote initiative and ideas at every level in the SAF;
  • The Block Budget System of financial budgeting with its attendance mechanisms of budget control and resource allocation within a non-negotiable budget limit.

I also described how these concepts were adopted to wider effect in the public service, namely:

  • Promotional advertising for teaching and education, with the taglines of “Thinking Schools, Learning Nation” and “Moulding the Future of Our Nation”;
  • Introducing the CEP system throughout the public sector as a way to develop officers according to their abilities and for managing their careers;
  • The PS21 (Public Service for the 21st Century) movement to promote quality service, organizational excellence, and initiative and innovation;
  • The Block Budget System throughout the public service.

And I said the most important point I learned from Dr Goh in starting the SAF from virtually nothing was his imperative to try unceasingly as the only way to succeed. Indeed, not to try would be irresponsibility.  He said, “The only way to avoid making mistakes is not to do anything.  And that, in the final analysis, will be the ultimate mistake.”

As my mind surveys these past events, I am reminded of what Steve Jobs had said in June 2005 in his Commencement Address to the Stanford MBA graduating class when he started by talking about connecting the dots in life:

“I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out?

“It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed college graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We have an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother later found out that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would someday go to college.

“And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked interesting.

“It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the 5¢ deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example:

“Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating.

“None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But ten years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards ten years later.

“Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.”

I find the point about only being able to connect the dots in our life looking backwards and not being able to do it looking forward, to be both instructive and inspirational. 

Whenever I am asked what advice I can give to young people contemplating their next steps in life, I tell them not to chase the rewards but to chase the opportunities. 

At a graduation ceremony of the University of Adelaide in Singapore in April 2012, I had said, “Seek to be the best you can be. Anything less is less than fair to yourself and to your capacity to contribute to the well-being of the people around you. Build a reputation for hard work, integrity, trustworthiness and reliability. Opportunity comes to those who are able, ready and prepared. Use your brain, use your hands, use your heart. Your degree today is not the end of your hard work. Your degree gives you a new starting point to apply hard work to bigger ends and higher ends. Enjoy today. Tomorrow brings you new possibilities and more work.”

MAKE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN ANYWAY!

Mother Theresa

Leadership is making good things happen that on their own would not happen. 

This requires courage to stand out from others and to stand out from the past.  It requires conviction and a determination to do good that overcomes the fear of criticism and opposition.

A poem, which is attributed to her and is reportedly is to be found on the wall of Mother Teresa’s children’s home in Kolkata, offers particular encouragement and enlightenment.

There are reports that there is an original version of the poem by Kent M. Keith, but while the form is the same, the words are not altogether the same.  What is most critical is for us to benefit from the wisdom and the inspiration.

 

THE ANYWAY POEM

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centred;
Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives;
Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies;
Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you;
Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight;
Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous;
Be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow;
Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough;
Give the world the best you’ve got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and your God;
It was never between you and them anyway.

HK students demonstrate self-organization

Hong Kong China Tension

I was in Hong Kong last weekend, and made a special point of going to where the demonstrations were happening.

The demonstrations had closed off main thoroughfares and created traffic congestion in many places.  I was told that 90 percent of the university students in Hong Kong were taking part in the demonstrations, and that the students managed it through a process of self-organisation at the micro level.

The students had organised themselves in groups of three or four. One of them would be on the street in the company of other protestors. When anyone gets tired, he or she would call another person in the group to take their place, while they go home for a shower and sleep. The students also organised for one member of the team to attend university lectures, which carried on right through the time of the demonstrations, to take notes and share with the others!

To me, this is a remarkable example of spontaneous leadership and team creation! While this would have been very difficult to organise and coordinate centrally, it is effectively executed when members of the team are tied together in a common purpose, and go all out to help each other in a relationship spontaneously established in trust and respect.

This is how effective leadership and teamwork can spring up at every level in an organisation, if only there were a strong enough sense of purpose and interdependency to achieve a worthy end.  Self-organisation and empowerment is much faster, responsive and flexible than any centrally organised effort can be!

Photo acknowledgement: http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1889028/thumbs/o-HONG-KONG-PROTEST-900.jpg?1

DUMP THE FAT AND GROW THE MUSCLE!

Stallions

I had the good fortune of watching the show Cavalia, which displayed horses in action, all well-trained and well-groomed, as well as wonderful acrobats whose energy, courage, and flexibility was simply awe-inspiring.

Watching the horses reminded me of two quotations.

The first was a quotation of the late Dr Goh Keng Swee which I mention in my book “The Leader, The Teacher & You.”  Dr Goh was Singapore’s Deputy Prime Minister, who had variously been Minister of Finance, Defence, and Education. He had said, “It is better to have stallions, which we occasionally have to pull back, than to have donkeys you have to kick to move.”

What Dr Goh looked for was energy, initiative, and imagination. Many supervisors will tell you what they want are people with energy, initiative, and imagination, but in reality, they feel threatened by people who have different views from theirs, and thus discourage or diminish those who carry bad news or make mistakes. Those who expect to harness the power and muscle of stallions must be self-confident, open-minded, intellectually honest, and also humble.

The second quotation is from the book Jeremiah in the Bible.  It goes, “If you have raced with men on foot and they have worn you out, how can you compete with horses? If you stumble in safe country, how will you manage in the thickets by the Jordan?”

This is a call not to grow weary but to persevere and to be resilient in the face of difficulties and setbacks. If we would learn from failure, that is how we grow in wisdom and understanding, courage and resourcefulnessdump the fat and grow the muscle.

 

SERVE COLD DRINKS ON HOT DAY!

Sats-Ops

I was inspired this past week when someone told me that the CEO of SATS Limited went on the ground on a very hot day to personally deliver cold cans of drinks to his employees who were working at very hot places at the airport.

This is empathy – emotional connection – displayed in unmistakable fashion. Imagine ourselves as the workers – how would we feel?  And imagine ourselves as the CEO – how would we want our workers to feel?

Are you crazy enough to change your world?

crazy-enough-to-change-the-world-steve-jobs

The biography of Steve Jobs is a book that is practically 4 cm thick.Having read through the entire book, my most significant takeaway was a quotation to be found in the very early pages of the book. For those who have read the book, you may remember a blank page with only this quotation right in the centre:

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” 

And those of us who have seen the recent film on Jobs life which was simply titled “Job” would have noticed that the film ended with Jobs speaking into a microphone these very words.

The quote comes from Apple’s “Think Different” commercial in 1997. Way back then, Steve Jobs already had the drive and imagination to always come up with something that would change the world, at least at the time when he introduced it. It could be a “little” change to a beautiful font, which came about after Jobs was inspired by a calligraphy class he attended, or it could be “big” things like the Mac computer and, in succession, the iPod, the iPhone, and the iPad.

My challenge to you is whether you see yourself as a leader who seeks to change the “world” – not the whole big world as Jobs imagined, but at least the world immediately surrounding each of you, which you have influence or authority over. This “world” could be your organization, your family, your school, etc. As defined in my book, “The Leader, The Teacher & You”: “Leadership is making things happen, which on their own would not happen.”

This definition is obviously not good enough, because the head of a mafia would also be exercising leadership by making “things”, such as fights and robberies, “happen which on their own would not happen.” So I have to modify my definition of leadership to “Leadership is making good things happen which on their own would not happen.”

But the moment I introduce the word “good”, I have introduced a moral dimension, where the leader has to differentiate between good and bad, and between right and wrong. But this moral dimension is something the leader should never run away from. A leader has both the privilege and the responsibility to do good and to do right.

The leader thus has to answer the question “good in what way” and “good from whose perspective.”  I put it as my view that “good” has to be from the perspective of doing good for others and, more specifically, doing good for society. “Good” simply in “self-interest” for the individual himself is unworthy, and can easily come down to being unthinking, misdirected greed. The world suffers from such self-interest every now and then, in all kinds of ways.

May each of us at least try to be aware of where we are not thinking in terms of the good of others and of society, and try to do better for the future of our children and grandchildren to come.

SUPERMAN, YODA, CHANGE CRUSADER

ST 20140831  l  Superman, Yoda, Change Crusader

Published in the STRAITS TIMES on 31 Aug 2014

BY SUSAN LONG, SENIOR WRITER

He may be the group president of Singapore sovereign wealth fund GIC, but Mr Lim Siong Guan rides the MRT to work. He alights at Raffles Place, then walks about 20 minutes to GIC’s office in Robinson Road for the exercise.

If he needs a postage stamp or has any errand of a personal nature, he queues for it himself instead of bothering his secretary.

His yearly tour of GIC overseas offices since 2007 – four days around the world: Singapore, San Francisco, New York, London, Singapore; and another four days around Asia: Singapore, Mumbai, Tokyo, Seoul, Beijing, Shanghai, Singapore – is the stuff of corporate legend.

He does not book a single hotel room, sleeps on the plane, refuses a corporate limousine and insists on public transport. He lives out of a small carry-on bag and showers in GIC office gyms. The London office keeps a spare towel for him.

It is a practice the former chairman of the Economic Development Board says he picked up from his EDB days of city-hopping as “check-in luggage increases very significantly the chances of missing connecting flights”.

By all accounts, Mr Lim is an iconoclast. The former head of the Singapore civil service, who served as permanent secretary in the ministries of Defence, Education and Finance, and in the Prime Minister’s Office, is also a hard act to follow.

He sticks out in the financial sector because of his ascetic values, thrift and humility. He owns a Volvo S60, easily the smallest car among his colleagues.

While he won’t spend on hotel rooms, he’s prepared to spend a lot to effect organisational change. Everywhere he goes, he ignites a mini revolution, cutting red tape, operating close to the boundaries and bucking conventions.

Dr Teh Kok Peng, chairman of business space solutions provider Ascendas and formerly president of GIC Special Investments, says: “In the office, some call him ‘Superman’ for his drive, energy and nobility of intention. He demands a lot of himself so he’s in a position to demand a lot from others too.”

His pet phrase is: “Are we ready for the future?” His pet name is Yoda, for his wisdom, long-range thinking and fearlessness in challenging his staff to think, even ahead of their ministers.

He is also known as one of the toughest – because of his formidable intellect and unbending principle – yet nicest bosses to work for in the civil service. His top question to staff is always: “How can I help you do your job better?”

Stories abound of the small and big ways in which he intervened to help others. None of this, of course, will ever be disclosed by the wiry, reticent 67-year-old.

He minimises it all, ascribing it to his yearning for “simplicity” and to “experience what ordinary people have to experience”.

 

Next stop: Honour

Mr Lim might be onto his biggest change platform yet – trying to engineer social and behavioural change in Singapore by promoting a culture of honour. And the futurist has his work cut out for him.

Earlier this month, he founded and launched non-profit organisation Honour (Singapore), which was attacked online for its vagueness and suspected Christian agenda.

It’s easy to to see why as his diffidence makes him a tough interviewee.

He will not lament the deficiency of honour today, beyond saying it is latent in everyone, just not brought to the level of consciousness yet.

He is modest to a fault, not given to laying out bold plans or mission statements. He refuses, too, to make a big deal of honour – imbuing it with an everyday ubiquitous quality. He insists it’s not abstract but part of ordinary living here, such as people offering their seat on the MRT or a taxi driver arriving on time, as promised.

The only thing he is categorical about is that Honour (Singapore) has no right-wing Christian agenda. It has been taken to task online for not declaring that all five members of its board are part of Full Gospel Business (FGB) Singapore, an inter-denominational group of Christian professionals. Additionally, Honour (Singapore)’s executive director and board member Jason Wong is also chairman of Focus on the Family Singapore, a pro-family Christian charity.

For the record, Mr Lim states that Honour has no view on LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender) issues. Neither is it an advocacy group for government policy, which it will not comment on.

After 37 years in the civil service, he says he understands the “extreme sensitivity” of race and religion. “Our intentions are very narrowly promoting a culture of honour and honouring. Clearly, Honour is not a Christian organisation. It can’t be if you’re trying to do something which has national value,” he says.

He adds that it would be impossible to advocate Christian work when it has a panel of 10 community advisers of differing religions, including Muslims and Buddhists, such as Haji Mohammad Alami Musa, president of the Islamic Religious Council of Singapore or Muis; Mr Chua Thian Poh, chairman of Ho Bee Land; and Ms Claire Chiang, senior vice-president of Banyan Tree Holdings.

But what about the worry expressed by netizens that his board’s overwhelming religious affiliation will lead to the imposition of Christian values of honour?

He says teachings like doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, honouring your parents and loving your neighbours are common to many religions. He cites humanitarian organisations started as an expression of faith such as Mercy Relief, started by Muslim group Perdaus in 2001, and St Andrew’s Mission Hospital, set up by the Anglican Church in 1913, which are now multiracial, multi-religious and secular in nature.

What about talk that Honour was set up at the behest of the Prime Minister to be a counter to the liberal tide out there and exemplify a more respectful response to the shrill voices out there?

Mr Lim seems affronted at this suggestion and says: “Absolutely not, he never spoke to me about it.”

As for the seeming haste to set up Honour, which led to it being registered under the same address as FGB, as well as to save costs, he says it is because the 50th year of Singapore’s Independence started on the 10th of August this year. “We thought that we ought to try to make it before the start of the 50th year,” he says, with his characteristic sense of urgency.

Use it or lose it

Honour (Singapore) is his practical-minded reaction to the treacly nostalgia of the SG50 celebrations, to mark Singapore’s 50th year of Independence next year.

Reading about the publicity on SG50, he felt it was overwhelmingly about celebration, honouring the pioneer generation and the past, which was good.

But he says: “The value of the past is to extract that which is critical that has brought us success, and to make sure that we don’t lose it as we think about the future.

“Every time people visit Singapore, we show them our Housing Board flats, CPF, education system, we talk about our strong leadership and political will – all of which are important. But if I were to ask myself, so what is the brand image of Singapore? What made us succeed? What is the defining characteristic of Singapore?

“It is trustworthiness. That’s why corporations plonk billions here and are prepared to wait 10 or 20 years to recover their investments. That’s why so many Singaporeans work in China as financial controllers and accountants, jobs which require total integrity and honesty.”

At the same time, he saw the fractious way public debates were being conducted here. So about four months ago, he rounded up a few friends to set up Honour (Singapore) to focus on the practice of honour – honouring our word and each other.

He believes this will help Singapore continue to succeed and stand out among nations. “Otherwise countries, like organisations, after a period of success, may end up with generations who are not aware or conscious about what has brought about that success,” he warns, adding that none of those invited to sit on his board or panel refused.

“If you look at the atlas of the world, Singapore fits within the letter ‘O’ of the name of the country. The reality is no one owes us a living. You matter if you succeed, you don’t matter if you fail.”

The closest thing he’s done to promote honour is introducing the concept of Total Defence in 1984, during his stint as permanent secretary at the Ministry of Defence.

That exercise was about getting people to think of defence beyond the hardware of military, civil and economic defence, to the softer factors of social defence and psychological defence, which “is about how people relate to each other and how people think about their home”.

“It’s very difficult to do something to bring about a new conviction in people. What you’re trying to do is take something already there and make it a conscious part of you,” he describes.

The difference today, he concedes, is that in his previous change-making roles, he was just doing his job. This is the first one he has given himself.

“Maybe it’s a reflection of my old age, a desire to do something while I can, before I fade from the scene,” lets on the author of the recent bestseller, The Leader, The Teacher & You. “I’ve got grandchildren, so I’m thinking about what kind of future I am leaving for them.”

He is also up against the fact that no such value-based organisation like Honour exists in the world as yet, hence all the speculations.

But he bids you judge it by what Honour (Singapore) will do. Right now, it runs a website with a weekly blog to inspire honouring behaviour. Soon, it will do talks on “leading, learning, loving and living with honour” and take part in conferences – by invitation only – in schools, businesses and community groups.

Mr Lim, who says he is on a year-to-year renewable contract with GIC and intends to stay only as long as he is “useful”, will kick off these talks himself. He will take leave from GIC to do so, just as he has conscientiously taken leave to do this three-hour interview with The Sunday Times.

Achieving transcendence

He was the eldest son of a taxi driver and teacher who got only two new sets of clothes a year – during Chinese New Year and at Christmas. Home was a rent-controlled compound house in Upper Serangoon shared with 20 other relatives.

His biggest thrill was when his father swung by in his taxi to pick him up from Paya Lebar Methodist Afternoon School. The bright boy, who transferred to Anglo-Chinese School at Primary 5, worked hard to attain the highest rank of Colour Sergeant with the Boys’ Brigade, struggling only with Chinese.

Whenever he or his three younger siblings failed in any endeavour, after putting in their best effort, his parents would take them out for a picnic. The value he caught was that: “The team that loses is the one that needs to be taken to McDonald’s, not the winners. They need to be encouraged to go down to the football pitch next week to fight again.”

He also learnt to treat everyone – regardless of station – with kindness. His mother had such a rapport with their Malay washerwoman, who lived in a nearby Malay kampung, that when the racial tensions broke out in the 1960s, she became their “guardian”.

A university education was beyond his family’s means. But he won the President’s Scholarship to study at the University of Adelaide and graduated with first class honours in mechanical engineering in 1969, which gave him his clear-eyed, problem-solving approach to life.

He started work here as a mechanical engineer at sewage treatment plants where he got his hands dirty. From 1978 to 1981, he was the first principal private secretary to then Prime Minister Lee Kuan Yew who, along with the late former deputy prime minister Goh Keng Swee, he considers his “master teachers”.

He then became permanent secretary at the Ministry of Defence from 1981 to 1994, where he raised the morale of the Singapore Armed Forces with a public campaign that positioned soldiers as defenders of the nation. From 1994 to 1998, as permanent secretary at the Prime Minister’s Office, then head of the civil service from 1999 to 2005, he championed the PS21 reformation, leading the public service to become more performance-driven, customer-focused, responsive to change and among the most admired in the world.

At the Ministry of Education (1997 to 1999), he was the architect of the “Thinking schools, learning nation” initiative. He introduced national education in schools and the President’s Award for Teachers to restore the honour traditionally accorded to them.

At the Ministry of Finance (1999 to 2006), he is credited for transforming the Government’s financial management system, promoting e-government and leading the ministry to reduce income tax rates and nhance Singapore’s tax competitiveness. He even introduced an award, called the ERRward, to recognise failure, a reflection of his belief that innovation involves experimentation and failures.

Upon his retirement in 2006, Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong paid tribute to his “unbroken record of understanding Singapore’s challenges and developing a vision of how the public service should respond to these challenges”.

From 2006 to 2009, he went on to chair the EDB, then preside over GIC from 2007, where he continued his bruising momentum of change and organisational overhaul to help them meet the future. Dr Beh Swan Gin, Permanent Secretary at the Ministry of Law, remembers: “When he first came to EDB, officers asked him about his vision for EDB, and his reply was that he had no vision aside from making possible the collective vision of EDB officers. That answer was very empowering.”

Most of all, his staff – past and present – remember how he treats people, how he bothers to reply and thank by name the clerks who send out mass e-mail reports to the whole organisation.

They also hail him as an unstinting mentor with an openness of spirit to engage anyone – no matter how junior – and a consummate teacher whose homilies are peppered with children’s stories, song lyrics and poems.

Indeed, the change that Mr Lim is proudest of is what he has wrought in other peoples’ lives. The otherwise unforthcoming father of three grown children – a paediatric anaesthetist, civil servant and branding consultant – and grandfather of five pipes up: “I know what makes me feel happy – when people tell me that I helped them realise their potential in some way. To me, leadership is about transcendence, it is about what do you do for other people.”

This could be why his past and present staff remain fiercely loyal.

Mr Yeoh Keat Chuan, managing director of EDB, counts him as one of the “most selfless” leaders he has ever known. “He is always willing to give up his personal time to help others even though I know he would dearly like to spend more time with his grandchildren.”

Accountant-General Chua Geok Wah, who witnessed the transformation of the civil service under Mr Lim, sums up her tribute to him by quoting ancient Chinese philosopher Lao Tzu.

“A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say, ‘we did it ourselves’.”

BACKGROUND STORY

Why call it Honour?

“I was asked why don’t we call it Trust or Respect, which are easier to understand and have less ambiguity. But it would have lost a very important point about ‘honour’. Honour is something we offer unconditionally on our own initiative, whereas trust or respect is our reaction to someone who behaves in a way that makes us believe in him or her.”

 

His motivation

“All my motivation for change has really been about the future. If you don’t change, are you good enough for the future? That’s the real driver. SG50 is about the past, we have to think about the future. What does the future need? Two things. One is, we need to continue to be a people whose word is our honour. Second, we also need to develop as a people who know how to live with a diversity of views and from all that diversity come to good conclusions as to how we move our way forward.”

suelong@sph.com.sg

CONNECTING THE DOTS

quote_steve-jobs_connecting-the-dots

 

Sometimes, maybe even oftentimes, we look more at our impediments than our possibilities. And if we do not do that to ourselves, we often do that on others. We are more focused on their shortcomings and defects, than look at them more optimistically in terms of how their impediments need not stand in the way of achievement, or sometimes even help them achieve. 

I am reminded of Steve Jobs, the late great creator of new possibilities in Apple, who said that in life, every dot – meaning, every happening – connects. That is, every step we take, every new bit of knowledge or skill we gain, makes possible some future step.

The only thing, however, is that we can only connect the dots looking backwards, and not looking forwards. 

Looking backwards requires good memory, looking forwards requires faith, and that inner desire to make things happen.

Here is a story of not being held back by misfortune or impediment, because we simply do not know the future. Only at the end of our life can we see how the dots connect.

A king had a male servant who, in all circumstances, always said to him, “My king, do not be discouraged, because everything God does is perfect, no mistakes.” 

One day, they went hunting and a wild animal attacked the king. The servant managed to kill the animal, but couldn’t prevent his majesty from losing a finger.

Furious and without showing gratitude, the King said: “If God were good, I would not have been attacked and lost one finger.”

The servant replied: “Despite all these things, I can only tell you that God is good and everything He does is perfect, He is never wrong”. 

Outraged by the response, the king ordered the arrest of his servant. While being taken to prison, he told the king again: “God is Good and Perfect.” 

Another day, the king left alone for another hunt and was captured by savages who used human beings for sacrifice. On the altar, the savages noticed that the king did not have one finger in place. He was released because he was considered “not complete” – not perfect enough –  to be offered to the gods.

On his return to the palace, he ordered the release of his servant and said: “God was really good to me. I was almost killed, but for lack of a single finger, I was let go. But I have a question: If God is so good, why did He allow me to put you in prison?”

His servant replied: “My king, if I had not been put in prison, I would have gone with you, and would have been sacrificed, because I have no missing finger.” 

Often we complain about life, and the negative things that happen to us, forgetting that everything happens for a purpose, even though that purpose might not be plain to us, possibly, for many years.

TATTOOS FOR PROTECTION?

Tattoos for Protection

I spoke to a dance instructor who told me he dealt with many kids who are considered “youth at risk.” 

He thought it extremely unfortunate that they should be labelled as “youth at risk”, because he had found many of them to be honourable, teachable, and desiring to do well just like all other kids. 

He described a boy who turned up at one of his classes with tattoos all over his body. On his asking why all the tattoos, the boy explained it was so that he would not be bullied. He felt that tattoos made him look tough, so having all the tattoos was in self-defence, for deterrence. He was no bully, but he had to take action to avoid being bullied. 

This reminds me of a story about Tommy.  

Tommy simply cannot sit still in kindergarten. During storytelling time, he talks and walks about. He disturbs other children in their work. Instead of taking a nap, he runs around the room. The teacher cannot control him, and thinks he is a real troublemaker. 

On Teachers’ Day, the children gave little present to their teacher. Tommy also had a present for her.  It was a little box, wrapped with pretty coloured paper. She opened the box slowly and carefully. Inside was a caterpillar! The teacher thought it was a naughty trick. She became very angry, scolded Tommy, and threw the box into the wastepaper basket. 

After school, the teacher found a little envelope. It must have dropped from one of the presents. Inside was a letter for her, from Tommy. The letter said: “Dear Teacher, here is a baby butterfly for you. I  hope it will become a pretty butterfly.” 

The teacher felt very bad. Tommy had wanted to do a good thing, but she had thrown away his present and scolded him. Why?  It was because she thought that Tommy was naughty by nature, and thus everything he did must be naughty. 

It is so easy for us to fall into the trap simply of judging people by their looks, or their words, or their behaviours. We need to make the time to listen, to understand, to uncover, and to discover.  

PICNIC FOR FAILING

Picnic for Failing

I recently received an email from an associate of some time back, updating me on an appointment she has just taken on. She made the remark, “I have met a couple of people who come across as being fairly jaded in life, and living on “what it could have been”. 

I am deeply saddened by remarks like these. Life should be lived to the fullest. Life should be lived with optimism.  Life should be lived for the future, and not in the past.  

In many ways, this is a choice. It is a choice to live life not “as it could have been”. That past is gone.  It is a choice to focus on the full part of a glass which is half empty. 

So live life as we can make it. Take the opportunities that come by, do our best, and take comfort that we have done what we could. 

I have been subjected to a number of interviews this past week.  It has caused me to have to think of my younger days, and wonder how I had been shaped by them.  We got to talking of my father, who was a taxi driver and was out of the house most of the time, so as children we did not see that much of him. But we could sense his love.  

I remember how he tried as much as possible to somehow be around my school at dismissal time, so he could pick me home. But this would not happen that often, as of course where he was depended on where his passengers brought him to. Nevertheless it was always a thrill to be picked by him for a ride home, instead of having to take the hour-plus ride on the bus. This was love for him. He also liked to buy nice food home which he came across as he drove around Singapore.  It was yet another act of love from him. 

But perhaps the most remarkable were the times when I did not do well in some school test or other. Sometimes I cried over the poor marks.  Instead of a scolding, he took us children for a picnic at the beach at Tanah Merah. This was love! The kind of love of a father as it ought to be for his son. His only demand was that his children should have tried their best, not more, not less. 

And, I would venture to say, it is also the kind of care a leader ought to have for his people.